I had one of those moments in church yesterday. You know the kind, where something is at once broad, deep and high, profound and sublime. The kind of moment that defies expression.
Yet here I go trying to express it…
I was alone standing in a crowd of people, families mostly, also standing in their pews. I was not really alone, I knew one of the men nearby and was “church acquainted” with another, but my wife was at home not feeling well, so I was aware of a sense of solitude. In any case we began to sing a song about the majesty of God. I don’t know the name of the song, but it started out with something like “before time began…”.
That phrase tripped a thought in my head about just how BIG God had to be, “create the universe” big! Ginormously big! Incredibly big!
And the incredulity of anything so incredibly big crept into me. How, “on God’s green earth” 🙂 , could anything that BIG, so BIG that it cannot be contained by space and time, so BIG that it strained my concept of BIG to imagine it. How could anything like that contain something as limiting as a personality, consciousnesses as I understood it. How could anything that BIG even consider mankind, let alone me.
My mind was boggled – overcome with fear and astonishment, but there was something more. There was also the niggling idea that I understood. That the secret had been revealed, that I had entered a level of understanding that many others had not.
As I looked down I saw two small children no more than 2 and 3 kneeling on the floor in the row in front of me drawing on paper (just making lines really they were not old enough to make shapes yet). They were both looking up at me, both of them, and their faces were wide open. Children that age can be sneaky, but they are not subtle. These two were both looking at me with open faces, not questioning or expectant just looking, together, at me.
And that’s when I had the moment!
The contrast of big and small, the difference between my pride and their humility. The marvel that the Enormous God of the universe would care enough to let me see what He really expected of me in such a compelling and mysterious way at that moment in time.
It was profound and sublime. It was God.